Practicing cura personalis through attention and authentic encounter.
Stuart Moskovitz, Director for LGBT Student Services and is a Resident Minister in Rosecrans Hall
Most of my professional career has been spent serving at Jesuit Institutions, and my understandings of Ignatian values have been shaped by the people around me. One of these individuals is Father Joseph McShane, S.J., Fordham’s president at the time. Each August during Fordham’s Resident Director training, Father McShane would meet the Residence Life team and offer some words about a vision of hope for what we can create over the year in our roles. There is a specific quote he shared that still echoes in my work today:
“Treat each person in front of you as the most important person to you in that moment”
This concept was thoughtful and profound, and connected directly with cura personalis. There is a certain dignity that’s shown and understood when you take time to really know the person you are serving. While there may be a reason that brings two people together, people are more than just ‘reasons’. We have a life that is specific and intimate to our own being. Taking the time to let people be more than the reason that brought you together in the first place is where you find community and connection.
I find myself utilizing this quote in my day to day experiences with others around me quite often. In the office, whether big or small, I take the time to truly understand the person's experiences, passions, and dreams. This has helped me be a better resource for others around campus, and helps when I get to follow up with the student as I have shown I am invested in them and their success. In my personal life it helps me be a better partner, friend, and family member.
Lastly, I’d like to share that this intention of treating others around you with importance can be like a muscle. This is a social tool that grows the more you use it so at the beginning it may take intentionality. During one’s first time entering a college, something that crosses everyone’s minds at one point leading up to the first day of classes is “I hope I make friends.” Taking this idea of treating people with importance can be a direct factor for creating meaningful relationships and nourishing one’s soul. I believe that effort takes interest, and showing interest requires effort. My advice is to take the extra time to be in the moment and present with others to allow your relationships to bloom.
It could feel difficult at times and that is okay: you won’t always click or be able to pour into everyone. Though the more you try, the more you start really seeing the people in front of you. And we all know what a pleasure and delight it can be when we feel seen by others.