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Merit - Life is much more about love than merit.
Merit badges and merit points are employed as a means towards earning awards, prizes, or honors. We put in the required efforts to obtain objectives that will be ours because we do whatever is required. We could receive more than our work deserves but nothing will come to us if we do not actively perform at least some of the requisites for obtaining the sought after objectives.
Can we merit being loved? Many stories in books and visual media portray people who “win” someone’s love through their heroic deeds. But does this match our experience? We might have tried to emulate such stories and wondered why things did not turn out as we desired. Perhaps we learned that life is not quite that way, as if we could put in the right amount of effort and obtain whatever we desire. Most teachers can relate incidents of students who believed firmly that by sheer efforts on their part, the results would be an “A.” Sadly, as one student learned, 500 words with no specific statements did not merit an “A,” since the requirement was for a concise explanation of the assigned topic. Even more, we cannot merit love based simply on whatever we might do.
However, when we begin our reflections about love and merit based on the solid truth that we are loved, that God creates us in love and for love, we can leave aside concern for meriting and concentrate on the central issue of all love, human and divine, which is how we will respond. For even God does not “merit” a return of love from us, nor those who are closest to us earn our love by their love for us. Rather, when we accept that we are loved, the metaphor of fire is apt: the flame enkindled in us goes outward, bringing heat and light not only back in the direction from which we received the flame, but also to others, sometimes quite widely.
We are right in believing that God and others deserve a return of love, for love does indeed seek love in return and it is an appropriate response. However, the mystery of love is so deep that no one can say or predict just how or when we will respond, for even though love always involves free choices on our part, the manner is as unique as we are. Some of us may have expectations of how we might be loved in response to our caring actions, but when we dispose of the idea of meriting it, we will more likely be content with whatever we receive if or when we receive it. Our way of loving, as we have likely noticed, is not necessarily how someone else manifests love.
“Love one another” (John 13:34) does not tell us how or in what manner. But love somehow knows and will succeed.
Last Updated 10/18/2025