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Ornery - We do not want to become habitually contrary people, but caring.
Ornery almost rhymes with ordinary, depending upon how quickly one speaks the words. We hope that our ordinary way of dealing with people is not that of being bad-tempered, which is only one of the many negative meanings that are related with ornery. Consciously or unconsciously, we choose how we will relate with, and be perceived by, others.
Our disposition toward people can only be called “ordinary” in the sense of being habitual, but the way we direct our attention towards everyone, especially in words and gestures, is far from ordinary in the effects it has not only on others, but on us as well. We do not become caring people by making a single decision to do so, but by daily choices we make in ordinary and extraordinary situations that occur day by day. When we were young, we might have followed examples of family members, teachers, friends, and even public figures whose images, whether real or projected, appealed to us. Later in life, many of us reflected on how we relate with others and made many successive choices that have influenced the way we act now.
We can gain a deeper understanding of our interactions with people, those close to us as well as those we barely know, by reflecting on our motivation for not becoming a habitually ornery person. Not surprisingly, the more we believe that we are loved, the more we want to be caring and careful with others at all levels of our communication with them. However, not all of us have always or even consistently accepted that we are loved, or at least not to the extent that we want to be loving toward others. Even the word “love” has been problematic for some, because it has been so badly misapplied to thoughts and actions that are anything but loving.
Some of us were blessed with loving families from the start; others found love, or were confirmed in love, later in life. However, we have always been immersed in the absolute love of God, the origin and giver of our unique lives, although we might only have begun to recognize this slowly, through human interactions in which God’s presence is revealed, as well as in personal prayer and occasional religious experiences. Beauty, such as we find in nature, whether a grand scene, such as the immensity of the heavens or the vastness of the sea, or inspirations that come in noticing the intricacy of a tiny insect or a lovely flower, are also expressions of God’s love for us.
Whether we think about it or not, when we are treated kindly or act this way ourselves, we are touched by goodness, another revelation of the loving presence of God among us.
Even ordinary love is never ornery.
Last Updated 5/30/2026